Journal+1

Loss of innocence is when you're a child and you have an event or something happen in your life that make you an adult or a bigger person than before so they say you "lost your innocence." In 2009, I lost my innocence because of one tragic moment that happened to my mom. She was diagnosed with breast cancer on September 2nd. I was the first one to find out, because I watched my mom as she paced up and down our patio while talking to her doctor on the phone. My first reaction to the news was, o//h my gosh! My mom is going to die!// I knew that wasn't going to happen but I was worried. Through the whole process of her cancer I lost my innocence because I had to go from childish behaviors to a motherly teenage girl to help my mom. On October 21, 2009 she had a double mastectomy, and went had to endure an extremely rough couple of months after her surgery. Along with helping her recover emotionally, every day I fed her, helped her out of bed, massage her arms with indian oil, take her to various places around the house, and cook for the family. Although my mom was a big part of me losing my innocence, my little brother was an even bigger part. While my mom couldn't do anything but sleep on the couch for a few months, I had to take the mother role in the house to my little brother. My older brothers were busy with preparing for college so my little brother looked up to me to be his "mother" while my mom recovered. I had to show him everything was going to be ok and that mom would be fine. I played with him, fed him, yelled at him when he was bad, and just overall played the role of our mother. Even though every night I would go up to my room and be sad and maybe even cry, I always knew the outcome of this situation would be positive. To this day, I still sometimes live up to those expectations, even though my mom can do everything she used to be able to do. My life did a complete 180 degrees. As a fifteen year old, every situation I endure, is now handled in a different way:handled in a way of a woman not a child. My reasoning for this is because when my mom had cancer, I lost my innocence.